At 6:21 AM Sunday morning, I woke up from a deep sleep with a FULL bladder. This feeling immediately reminded me of the last time I was pregnant and that today, in fact, was my baby girl's BIG DAY! I immediately started reflecting back to where we were FOUR years ago, exactly at this time. The petocin had probably just been turned on and switched off just as fast when your sweet little heart rate plummeted with the first small contraction. I remember feeling such guilt for wanting to induce a few days early and with tears streaming down my face, I asked my nurse if I could just go home and wait for you to come on your own time.
It felt like it was Christmas morning, waiting for the time, I could go see what Santa left me. I couldn't help but wake your daddy up as I lay awake reminiscing about you as a baby. For thirty minutes on your birthday morning, we went through every detail of your arrival, from the longest night of our lives trying to comfort you at the hospital while you had to be under the lights due to your jaundice to clearly remembering how much you hated that pacifier from hour one at the hospital. We talked about week 7-8 when you developed colic and the HOURS we would spend with you swaddled on the back porch in the sweltering heat. The only place you could find peace while you tummy was in knots every single evening.
It's such a cliche, but it really is hard to believe that it was four years ago you entered our lives and here we are now with this perfect little package of a little girl, complete with a spirally curled head of hair. Your daddy and I snuck into your bed while you were still asleep and laid there with you until you woke up. Half asleep you gave each of us a long hug and soon came to enough to ask where Smokey was!
You continue to blow any expectations I had, of having a daughter, out the water. You amaze me everyday with your expressions, questions and kindness. As I tucked you into bed for the first time as a FOUR year old, you told me you can't wait until you are five! As cute as it was to hear those words, I told you not to worry about being five and to enjoy every second of being FOUR because I know I am going to!!
I love you SOOOO much,